Yesterday, Jamie Melham became the second female jockey in history to win the Melbourne Cup – one of the biggest sporting events in Australia.
But while much of the country was celebrating the moment, an ugly and deeply misogynistic “meme” began circulating online.
Jamie’s husband, Ben Melham, also rode in Tuesday’s race, marking the first time a married couple has competed in the Cup together.
While Jamie and Half Yours came first, Ben and Smokin Romans finished 14th.
That detail was enough for an Australian Facebook page called ‘Blokes Advice’ – with more than 270,000 followers – to share a disgusting post implying Ben would “at least be riding a Melbourne Cup winner tonight”.
The post has so far attracted almost 7000 reactions, 300 shares and 600 comments. Around 550 of those piled on with similarly sexist remarks.
“Could be a wet track,” one person wrote.
“Probably pull out and come down the outside,” said another.
One commenter likened Jamie to a horse, warning Ben “not to use the whip too many times,” or he’d be suspended.
Others took it even further, describing sexual acts in detail that are too vile to publish.
Only a handful of commenters called out the sexism – and one of them was labelled “gay” for doing so.
When I contacted Blokes Advice for comment, an administrator replied, dismissing the post as just entertaining content.
But in 2025, how is this still being brushed off as banter?
Sexist “humour” like this isn’t harmless.
It causes real damage, both to women individually and to the culture that continues to excuse this kind of behaviour.
Dismissing it as “boys being boys” only reinforces the attitudes that feed broader gender inequality in Australia.
Ironically, Blokes Advice suggested I should be writing about real issues like domestic violence, apparently unaware that casual sexism like the kind on their page helps create the environment that allows that to flourish.
According to Our Watch, sexist jokes and language are ‘reinforcing factors’ that contribute to violence against women. And right now, Australia is facing a national crisis, where one in six women have experienced violence from an intimate partner.
When we laugh at “jokes” like this, we normalise the idea that degrading women is funny or acceptable, and that’s part of the problem.
As one article put it, “While the average heterosexual male will laugh at a sexist joke but would never hurt their female partner, these ‘everyday’ men are contributing to a culture that enables the men who want to hurt someone but need to know they won’t lose their friends if the word gets out. They need to know that deep down in Western society, the undercurrents of misogyny are still flowing”.
These sexist remarks are especially bad when they target women who’ve just achieved something extraordinary.
The message sent to every woman and girl is: no matter how successful you are, your worth will always be reduced to your sex appeal or your relationship to a man.
We don’t make jokes like this about male athletes.
This kind of “banter” doesn’t just discourage women and girls from pursuing sport, but other professions as well.
So, can we stop with these sorts of comments?
They’re dehumanising and objectifying, and unless we call them out, toxic culture will continue to survive.
Disturbingly, Blokes Advice also runs a private, men-only group with 314,000 members.
If these attitudes continue unchecked and behind closed doors, the future for women – both online and offline – looks bleak.
Continue the conversation: @el_katelaris
Read related topics:Melbourne
