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I miss Ireland’s wildness and divilment, but after 20 years away, I know it’s not for me

The year I packed my bags and set off for India changed everything and began a 20-year journey chasing not just adventure, but meaning.

I felt the pull of travel after I graduated in the early 2000s. With a degree in Early Childhood Studies I was substitute teaching in primary schools and waitressing in Cork.

Travelling across India I soaked in its chaos and beauty. As a volunteer teacher I learned more from those children than they did from me, a pervading sense of gratitude, and a feeling of luck in being born Irish.

I eventually ran out of money in Bangkok, thus beginning my four years of fun in Thailand, teaching in an international school. Life there was vibrant, messy, and often debaucherous!

It was in New Zealand that I found myself never farther from Ireland yet never more at home. Here I was teaching in a small Māori school by the sea. The simplicity, the community, the connection to the land all left a deep mark on me.

My tear-soaked goodbye saw my return home to Ireland after the Celtic Tiger crash. I longed to put down roots. I loved reconnecting with family and friends. But Ireland felt heavy and struggling. I struggled too – earning minimum wage, signing on the dole in the summers, and feeling unseen. It was a painful time. I had so much to give, but Ireland wasn’t in a place to receive it.

An Irish digital nomad in Lisbon: I question what we’re doing hereOpens in new window ]

My hard work was rewarded in a move to Dubai where I retrained as a school psychologist and found a lot of financial stability. But something was missing. I made lifelong friends and was part of the strong Irish community, but I didn’t get the sense of belonging that I craved.

Was it the city’s materialism and facade that meant I could never quite connect with it? Dubai was so good to me and I’ll be forever grateful but my soul was longing for something more real.

So I two years ago I took my latest leap. It has left my soul feeling happier. I’m now working at an international school Lisbon, and have set up my own business providing emotional support to children, teens and families and I love it. Life feels more balanced, slower and softer somehow, though I do still miss that Dubai salary.

Abroad: Edele Nolan in Dubai

The Portuguese have a word, saudade, which means a deep longing for something or someone beloved that is absent, and it captures perfectly what I feel for Ireland.

I miss the wild landscapes, but most of all I miss the people, their heart, their openness and their brilliant wit and sense of divilment and fun.

I’ve lived in eight different countries and travelled to 62 so far and what I know for sure is that as a nation we are loved globally. There is no where is else in the world I would rather be from.

Yet I know that as much as I love Ireland, it isn’t the place where I can truly flourish or build the life I want for now. Although I’ve lived away for two decades now, I carry Ireland with me everywhere.

Edele Nolan is originally from Killarney. She first left Ireland in 2004 and now lives in Lisbon, where she works at an international school and is the owner of Young Minds Therapy

  • Are you Irish and living in another country? Would you like to share your experience with Irish Times Abroad, something interesting about your life or your perspective as an emigrant? You can use the form above, or email abroad@irishtimes.com with a little information about you and what you do. Thank you
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