SCOTT DETROW, HOST:
Today’s Thanksgiving, and we’re going to take a few moments to be thankful for everything we have. But tomorrow on Black Friday, we are going to be asked to buy a whole bunch of stuff. The holiday season can be expensive. There’s travel. There’s gifts, and that’s all on top of everyday financial pressures. So how do we navigate all of this? That is the kind of question that Michelle Singletary is asked all the time by her readers. She is a personal finance expert and writes “The Color Of Money,” a nationally syndicated column from The Washington Post. She’s here to impart some of that wisdom onto us as part of our cost-of-living series, The Price We Pay. Good to talk to you. Happy Thanksgiving.
MICHELLE SINGLETARY: Happy Thanksgiving to you, as well.
DETROW: So let’s look forward to tomorrow, Black Friday. It’s changed a lot over the years, right? It’s been extended. It’s become as much of a digital thing as an in-person thing. Is it worth getting out there and throwing elbows and going to the mall and the stores tomorrow…
SINGLETARY: (Laughter).
DETROW: …Or should we just stay home? Like, what – how do you start there?
SINGLETARY: I’d say, stay home, eat some more pie (laughter). Talk to your family members. But I actually stay away.
DETROW: (Laughter).
SINGLETARY: I like to just chill (laughter) on Black Friday.
DETROW: I appreciate that advice. What concerns are you hearing from readers? What questions are you hearing from readers right now at, like I said, an expensive time of year, in a year where everything is more expensive?
SINGLETARY: Yeah. I think this year, the magic word is affordability…
DETROW: Yeah.
SINGLETARY: …And so many people are feeling the pressure of things being more expensive, job insecurity. But, you know, I think the key is – and you talked about this – what can you afford? And it has to start there.
DETROW: Yeah.
SINGLETARY: You know, I am – believe it or not, people always think I’m just this really cheap columnist. But I actually am very generous. But I give out…
DETROW: You sound generous.
SINGLETARY: …My – I know (laughter), right? I give out of my abundance, and I think that’s the key. When we talk about the two As this year, affordability and abundance…
DETROW: Yeah.
SINGLETARY: …If you only have $50, that’s all you have.
DETROW: I want to ask about kids, though, because…
SINGLETARY: Yeah.
DETROW: …A lot of people have kids who live in a world of commercials, live in a world…
SINGLETARY: Yeah.
DETROW: …Of their friends having gifts and talking about gifts. And it can be an uncomfortable conversation, an embarrassing conversation to talk to your kids and say, hey, look, we’re going to have fewer presents this year.
SINGLETARY: Yeah.
DETROW: What are some ways you navigate that or tell people to think about that?
SINGLETARY: Well, I always think about when, you know, my husband and I were starting out, and we had small kids, and we had a budget, and we managed their expectations. So we were really big on that. We would tell all three of our children, OK, give me your Christmas list, and they’d bring in this 10-page dossier.
(LAUGHTER)
SINGLETARY: They understand better than you think what’s going on in your household. They can feel it. They can feel the tension. And so you just very lovingly, age-appropriate, say it’s a tough year. We’re a little worried about some things. We want you to have a nice holiday. We’re going to do X. One of the strategies, if you really – it just can’t happen – you just don’t have a lot, open the presents with all your family at the same time. And that way, if they’re getting something from Grandma or Auntie and you, instead of maybe one gift, now they’ve gotten three in their…
DETROW: Yes.
SINGLETARY: …Little pile. And that’s just a way to make them feel extra love while everybody’s around. But when my kids were tiny people, when they don’t remember anything, I would just find stuff in the house that they weren’t playing with…
DETROW: (Laughter).
SINGLETARY: …Or, you know (laughter), and wrap it up and put it…
DETROW: (Laughter).
SINGLETARY: …Under the tree. They didn’t know the difference.
DETROW: Man, they got so many presents this year.
SINGLETARY: I know some people are thinking, that’s just dishonest. Well, what are they going to do? They’re too…
(LAUGHTER)
SINGLETARY: …They don’t know what a nursing home is just yet, so…
(LAUGHTER)
DETROW: You’ve mentioned budgeting a few times. It’s probably too late to have a broader conversation about budgeting this holiday season. But going forward, what is the right time of year to start thinking about, OK, what is my holiday budget? How do I start planning for that?
SINGLETARY: Well, you know, it’s never too late. If you haven’t gone and done all your shopping, it’s still not too late to budget. What we tend to do is every year, we add people to the list. They gave me something, so next year, you’re thinking, oh, I got to get them something. And so you have to look at what you can afford and then shoehorn in the people that you are going to buy for. And the ones that don’t make the cut, they don’t know they don’t have to make the cut (laughter). But you send out notes, and you call people to say, hey, you know, it’s a hard year this year. I’m a little worried about job security. So we’re going to not really do a lot of shopping this year. I hope you’re OK with that. How about we just spend some time with each other? And if someone can’t appreciate that, well, they don’t need a gift anyway (laughter). In the end, a lot of other people will be relieved…
DETROW: Yeah.
SINGLETARY: …Because if you move them from your list, then they can take you off…
DETROW: Look, honestly…
SINGLETARY: …Of their list.
DETROW: …That’s a gift in itself.
SINGLETARY: That’s exactly right.
DETROW: That is Michelle Singletary, personal finance columnist at The Washington Post. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy holidays. Good luck navigating all these fun, tricky shopping dynamics.
SINGLETARY: Thank you.
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