The new Amazon Prime action-comedy includes a director and screenwriter among its credits. But the real creative contributions to the film stem from the casting director and music supervisor.
After all, someone had to cast two actors as physically disparate as Alan Ritchson and Kevin James, the most unlikely screen pairing since Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito. And someone else had to fill the requisite role of assembling vintage pop hits to accompany the action sequences. Car chase? DeBarge’s “Rhythm of the Night.” Fight sequence? KC and the Sunshine Band’s “Boogie Shoes.” Even bigger fight sequence? The same band’s “Give It Up.” Playdate isn’t a movie. It’s a compendium of clichés in search of one.
Playdate
The Bottom Line
Decline the invitation.
Release date: Wednesday, November 12
Cast: Alan Ritchson, Kevin James, Sarah Chalke, Alan Tudyk, Benjamin Pajak, Banks Pierce, Hiro Kanagawa, Stephen Root, Isla Fisher
Director: Luke Greenfield
Screenwriter: Neil Goldman
Rated PG-13,
1 hour 33 minutes
What’s even worse is that the clichés are so stale. There are gags referencing Reservoir Dogs, Thelma & Louise and the original Jurassic Park. You start to get the feeling that Neil Goldman’s script has been in a trunk since the mid-90s.
Unfortunately, director Luke Greenfield has exhumed it. And considering that his filmography includes The Animal, The Girl Next Door, Let’s Be Cops, and Half Brothers, he must have seemed perfectly suited for the job.
The plot, sigh, revolves around Brian (James), a newly unemployed forensic accountant now relegated to the role of stay-at-home dad to his young stepson Lucas (Benjamin Pajak) so his wife can return to the workforce. She’s played by Sarah Chalke (Scrubs), continuing the venerable sitcom tradition of wives thoroughly outclassing their hubbies.
Brian, who’s concerned that Lucas enjoys modern dance more than sports, takes him to the park so they can throw a ball around. Needless to say, it doesn’t go well, especially when compared to Jeff (Ritchson) and his kid CJ (Banks Pierce), who hurl footballs at each other with the velocity of cruise missiles.
Jeff, who exudes a puppy-dog friendliness, suggests, you guessed it, a playdate, which begins at a Chuck E. Cheese-style restaurant. And wouldn’t you know it, things go awry when it turns out that Jeff is being pursued by ruthless assassins. Cue the would-be In-Laws comic hysteria as the hapless Brian gets caught up in a violent maelstrom in which it’s eventually revealed that Jeff had rescued CJ, who seems to have extraordinary abilities, from a government …
No, no spoilers here, although they’re hardly necessary since the labyrinthian plotting proves so absurd that most viewers, watching on Amazon Prime, won’t bother to keep up with the plot while folding their clothes or going over their finances. Fortunately, Playdate proves so mediocre in every respect that no one’s attention to their tasks will be diverted. Some people’s checkbooks will be balanced for the first time in years.
A bunch of talented performers have been inexplicably roped into the enterprise, including Isla Fisher, gamely going through the motions as the leader of a “Mama Mafia”; Stephen Root, finally proving that his ability to make anything funny has a limit; and Alan Tudyk as a villain who suffers the indignity of getting shot in the ass. Also on hand is the talented Paul Walter Hauser, who goes uncredited. Maybe because of the running gag in which his character is constantly compared to Zach Galifianakis.
James can be amusing in his everyman way, but he mainly seems embarrassed throughout, and not just because he’s standing next to Ritchson, whose massive, muscular body is practically a special effect in itself. But like many a macho man before him, the Reacher star shows that his comedic talents rival his action-hero credentials. His deadpan comic performance is the only thing keeping the film afloat.
Most mediocre comedies feature one of two things during the end credits — outtakes that invariably prove funnier than anything we’ve already seen, or a music video in which the stars try to sing and dance. As if to prove that it can’t be exceeded in badness, Playdate has both.
