There’s a new relationship trend flying around the algorithm. “The bird theory” has taken TikTok by storm. But what can it actually tell you about your relationship?
Here’s what you need to know about the theory, and what the host of Sex and Psychology Podcast told Newsweek about it.
Why It Matters
Whether it’s the viral debate about whether having a boyfriend is embarrassing, Gen Z’s death sentence to dating apps, or Americans pursuing AI relationships, in 2025, dating and relationships are in a tricky spot.
As people reckon with the state of the date, social media is helping to push out new dating and relationship trends, prompting people to regularly examine their romantic relationships.
What To Know
First off, what actually is the bird theory?
It involves mentioning a fake bird sighting in conversation with your significant other. People, primarily women, record themselves speaking to their partner about a bird they saw while they were out and about.
So, why are people conjuring up fake bird stories? The theory is that by bringing up the fictional bird, people will be able to gauge how interested someone is in them and their day. The inference is that if someone asks you follow-up questions about the bird and takes an interest, they might be more interested than someone who brushes it off.
Viral takes on the trend show people’s partners responding with differing levels of interest to the bird test.
And as for what this can mean for your relationship? Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, told Newsweek over email, “Tests like this can potentially reveal something about your relationship health, but I’d be very cautious about the way they’re employed and avoid over-interpreting the outcome.”
Lehmiler continued, noting as an example that “If you make a bid for attention at a time when your partner is very busy, stressed, or exhausted, a less-than-enthusiastic response might not be diagnostic of how they actually feel about you or the relationship. It might just reflect a feeling of being overwhelmed.”
And this isn’t the only thing to be cautious over. Lehmiller told Newsweek that if you feel a need to ‘test,’ your partner, it’s worth asking yourself why.
“Sometimes it’s because we already know that something about the relationship is off. But other times, it’s because we’re feeling anxious or insecure and just want some reassurance. In the latter case, people sometimes start to constantly test their partners, which starts putting strain on the relationship,” Lehmiller said, adding that if you feel the need to be testing your partner, it’s likely saying more about you than them.
What People Are Saying
Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, told Newsweek over email: “I’d avoid putting too much stock in a one-time relationship test. But if you’re seeing a consistent pattern of responses over time and across a variety of situations, that may be more revealing.”
Yung Gravy, the rapper, responding to his girlfriend Ari Kystsya, in a video viewed 5.8 million times, “You saw a bird yesterday? That’s f****** awesome babe, congrats. What did it look like?”
Hannah Brown, author and former Bachelorette lead, joined in on the trend with her husband, and captioned the video, viewed 1.5 million times: “I think Adam passed the bird theory test right??”
What’s Next
Given how quickly trends live and die online, it’s likely that another trend, designed to put partners to the test, will emerge soon.
