Ventriloquists hold a strange spot in comedy history. The puppet masters were a popular staple on the vaudeville circuit. Somehow, Edgar Bergen made Charlie McCarthy work on the radio. And while they still sell tickets today — Terry Fator headlined in Vegas for a decade after winning America’s Got Talent, and the Jeff Dunham machine inexplicably rolls on — ventriloquists struggle for critical love. The jokes are corny, the puppet caricatures can be broad and borderline racist, and yes, you can see Dunham’s lips move.
I’ve never paid to see a ventriloquist live, but I’d have to make an exception if Eddie Murphy follows through on a promise he makes in the new Netflix documentary, Being Eddie. It’s been a long time since Murphy has performed on stage, but he has an idea of what he’d like to do if he returns.
“I said if I ever did stand-up again, I was gonna get a Bill Cosby puppet and a Richard Pryor puppet,” he revealed. Murphy would “have them on the side, and have a conversation between the two, and be in the middle. I’d get at least ten good minutes of jokes out of it.”
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That idea is so damn spectacular that Being Eddie decides to gift the dummies to the comedian as its grand finale. Murphy opens up a case and pulls out a Bill Cosby puppet in a Technicolor sweater. “Man, you went all out!” It doesn’t take long for Murphy to improvise a bit.
“Did you put that pill in the chocolate?” Murphy asks Dummy Cosby.
“How you gonna ask me if I put that pill in the chocolate,” the puppet replies in Cosby’s distinctive voice, “WHEN YOU KNOW I PUT THE PILL IN THE CHOCOLATE?!”
Dummy Pryor might be even funnier. “Goddamn, this your place?” he exclaims before doing Dummy Cosby one better. “I put the pill in my motherfucking mouth. Motherfuck the chocolate.”
A puppet version of comedian Paul Mooney joins the funnyman group, sharing a case with Dummy Pryor. “This n***a has lost his mind,” says Dummy Mooney.
Once the puppets are in his hands, Murphy can’t stop riffing, with Dummy Cosby attempting to seduce a lady puppet by offering to show her his Jell-O Pudding Pop. The 64-year-old Murphy becomes a kid again during the doc’s closing credits, sitting between Cosby and Pryor with a devilish glint in his eye. It’s play time!
But those brief, hilarious scenes aren’t nearly enough. A taste of a set featuring Murphy, Pryor and Cosby only leaves us wanting more. If Murphy decides to bring his puppet pals on a theater tour, I’ll be first in line for tickets.
