‘Just waiting for Tom to f*** up’: How UFC’s greatest fighter may have become its most despised

Tom Aspinall has less than three minutes to save the UFC heavyweight division this Sunday.

Or more specifically, 124 seconds.

Which is some ask.

Even for a hulking Englishman who finishes faster than poor ‘ol Jim Levenstein in American Pie.

Truly, it’ll take you longer to drink a glass of water than watch Aspinall win.

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Quickest victory?

As a professional, the PB stands at nine seconds.

Although back in his amateur days, this tattooed Wigan warrior once got done in six.

Indeed, even since stepping his violence up and into Octagons over the past five years, Aspinall’s eight wins have also come in a tick over 13 minutes, or what doubles as the shortest average fight time of any UFC athlete — ever.

Jake Collier. 45 seconds. Sergei Pavlovich. 69 seconds.

Hell, even his most recent win over Curtis Blaydes — the man previously responsible for his sole UFC loss (albeit in tandem with a horror knee injury) — was the MMA equivalent of Gone In 60 Seconds.

Which is why, already, and undeniably, Aspinall should be tattooed with Baddest Man on the Planet.

Especially given said tag is almost as much a byproduct of winning the UFC heavyweight crown as that strap this UK superstar now carries.

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So the fact Big Tom isn’t? Or not really?

Well, you can largely blame it on the dumpster fire that is the UFC heavyweight division.

All up, a troublesome mess that not only involves Aspinall being crowned champion without winning, or Francis Ngannou being dethroned without losing, but Jon Jones having spent two years accused of invoking a game plan lifted straight from those ‘Five Ds of Dodgeball’ — dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge.

Of course, only four months on from having Jones give up the UFC heavyweight crown – which is a separate issue all its own – the American superstar is now not only back, or making headlines, but wanting to fight Alex Pereira on the White House lawn.

And in what no less than Joe Rogan has dubbed the biggest fight in human history.

Which again, goes a long way to explaining everything undermining Aspinall’s new championship reign.

But also, everything he can gain in victory at UFC 321 in Abu Dhabi.

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Fighting for the first time as UFC champ, Big Tom is set to defend against Ciryl Gane.

And the same Gane, you likely know, who has already fought for said title twice before, losing both times.

Most recently too, in March 2023. When the Frenchman was not only submitted by Jones, but finished in less than three minutes.

Or more specifically, 124 seconds.

Which is why so many fans will be rooting against the underdog story in this one.

Aware it’s Aspinall who has the best chance of breathing life into the UFC heavyweight ranks.

With a win also going a long way to silencing those Jones’ baits about the pair not fighting due to question marks over the champ’s ability to scrap, spin turnstiles, or simply prove himself more than a blink-and-miss-him conqueror.

Tom Aspinall of England raises the interim UFC heavyweight championship belt after his knockout victory against Curtis Blaydes of the U.S. during the UFC 304 event at Co-op Live on July 27, 2024 in Manchester, England. (Photo by Ben Roberts Photo/Getty Images)Source: Getty Images

Importantly, it’s also why a stopwatch – more than any scorecard – carries the real weight Sunday.

Understanding how more than simply beating Gane as an almost $5 outsider, the division needs Aspinall to do it in such a fashion as to scream: JON JONES HAS F***ING DUCKED ME FOR TWO YEARS — AND NOW YOU’VE SEEN WHY!!

More than simply owning the division, Aspinall has to prove he is the division.

A goal to which several routes exist.

However, the best is also the quickest.

Of course, finishing Gane faster than even Jones did two years ago wouldn’t only see Big Tom effectively ruin two men in one night, or undeniably ink Baddest Man onto whatever space still exists on his hulking frame, but also breathe life into the UFC’s most troublesome weight class.

For some time now, the UFC heavyweight division has been wheezing its way through an array of issues which includes, in no particular order, a messy title picture, lack of star power, inactivity, limited rivalry and that roster widely considered shallower than a paddle pool.

Which isn’t to say everything couldn’t change in a blink.

It could.

With the greatest scenario being that Jones comes back, Pereira comes up, and Ngannou takes a bag from Uncle Dana to round out, with Aspinall, what would be something akin to those Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Imagine, say, Aspinall winning and going into Jones, then Pereira. Or those latter two scrapping in Donald Trump’s yard while Big Tom takes on the returning Ngannou in a dead set slobberknocker.

Tell ‘em they’re dreamin’?

Yeah, maybe.

Indeed, given the propensity for some, or even all of this failing, it’s why nothing would help the UFC heavyweight division more than Aspinall going all Genghis Khan.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK – NOVEMBER 16: Jon Jones of the United States of America reacts after his TKO victory against Stipe Miocic of the United States of America in the UFC light heavyweight championship fight during the UFC 309 event at Madison Square Garden on November 16, 2024 in New York City. (Photo by Sarah Stier/Getty Images)Source: Getty Images

Already, there’s an argument for this 32-year-old being the most dominant UFC heavyweight in history.

So imagine if he goes and proves himself the greatest, period? And not only by lumping the entire division on his heavily tattooed back, but then carrying it through one brutal KO, or submission, after another?

Especially given that with this newest UFC heavyweight king having been robbed of his chance to win the title in battle – due to Jones having given it up – he must now go and confirm his baddassery in other ways.

Which also underlines the major problem with champions like Jones vacating: It cruels the next guy’s hopes of being put over.

In the WWE, for example, Vince McMahon never let anything like it happen.

Just ask Bret Hart.

Or The Undertaker – aka Mark Calaway – whose famed Wrestlemania streak was only broken late in his career as it became increasingly apparent that, as his end neared, so the storyline required a big shift.

Which is why through 21 Wrestlemania events, Taker went undefeated.

Then within four years, lost twice.

First to Brock Lesnar, already a star, while his second defeat gave Roman Reigns the bump.

Of course, this is also why McMahon has previously said he would never buy into the UFC. It isn’t scripted.

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And good luck finding a Hollywood type anywhere capable of bashing out the type of yarn that is Jones disappearing through three years to ready for heavyweight, then fighting only twice in as many years again, before most recently standing accused of deliberately ducking his only obvious rival.

Unthinkably, the UFC’s greatest fighter has also entered the debate for its most despised.

And all while, for two long years, Aspinall has stood ready to hand Jones the first real loss of his career.

With the hyped Englishman having won interim gold, waited on Jones, trained, waited some more, posted duck emojis, demolished Curts Blaydes, got back in the gym, waited, ramped up his YouTube channel, waited, then posted more duck emojis.

Finally in June, Aspinall watched Jones relinquish the UFC heavyweight crown.

With the big fella only learning of his promotion to champion, he has revealed since, via online media reports.

Yet within minutes of Aspinall being anointed the new king, and a defence against Gane announced, Jones suddenly revealed how – gasp — he was coming out of retirement to hopefully fight Pereira on the White House lawn.

None of which the new champ deserves.

But, hey, this is prizefighting.

Deserves has nothing to do with it.

Which also explains how Jones’ proposed showdown is quickly gaining traction among fans, media, everyone.

And all while Jones, too, continues to bait Aspinall online.

With even retired warrior Matt Brown suggesting for MMA Fighting this week how come Sunday’s headliner “Jon’s going to be on his phone with Twitter open, watching this fight and just waiting for Tom to f*** up … get dropped, get leg kicked, limping a little bit, Jon can’t wait for that moment”.

But as for how Aspinall silences all that? How he saves the division?

Well, there are all sorts of ways.

But the greatest also arrives quickest.

And anytime before 124 seconds.