20 Years Ago, Smallville’s Halloween Episode Failed Miserably, And The Cast Now Admits It ‘Made No Sense’

Smallville aired one of its worst-ever episodes 20 years ago, which bombed so hard that even the show’s main cast now admits that it made no sense. Despite this, Smallville generally earns widespread acclaim for its grounded portrayal of Superman’s origin story, with an enduring fanbase that still waxes nostalgic about the show today.

Smallville ended in 2011 after 10 seasons and a mind-boggling 217 episodes. Its record-breaking longevity is a testament to its quality, with other comic book TV adaptations often struggling to get past the starting line. Still, with that many episodes, one or two were bound to fall through the cracks, and one Halloween-themed episode in particular sticks in the minds of many.

Even Smallville’s Cast Think “Thirst” Was Nonsensical

Lana licking blood off of her finger as a vampire in SmallvilleImage via Warner Bros

Smallville season 5, episode 5, “Thirst,” was released on October 27, 2005, ostensibly making it season 5’s Halloween episode. As the 93rd episode overall, it aired after Smallville and its primary cast were already well-established. Nevertheless, “Thirst” took Smallville in a baffling direction, having Lana Lang join a sorority entirely composed of vampires who waste no time in forcing Lang to join them. The change completely alters her personality, even causing her to spurn Clark for being too emotional. Thankfully, Lex happens to possess a vampire cure, which Clark ultimately administers to Lana after Lana drives off the rest of the vampires.

Although the episode wasn’t entirely unwatchable, largely thanks to a compelling subplot involving Lex Luthor and Brainiac, it swiftly became one of the worst-rated Smallville episodes of all time. Even in a show replete with metahumans and mind-bending powers, the vampire plot felt absurdly out of place, with its numerous references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer (such as naming the sorority’s leader Buffy) feeling far too on-the-nose.

This absurdity was not lost on the cast, as it turns out. On their podcast, Talk Ville, three of Smallville‘s core cast members, Tom Welling (Clark Kent), Michael Rosenbaum (Lex Luthor), and Kristen Kreuk (Lana Lang), reflected on “Thirst” and weren’t shy about airing their grievances. Kreuk, in particular, who appeared on this episode of the podcast as a guest, recounted how her experience left her feeling deflated and even demeaned, recalling how it felt practically orchestrated to have Lana wear objectifying clothing as a sorority sister vampire. The full episode and Kreuk’s comments can be seen below:

I think I was angry with this one. I think at this point I got to the point where I was like “I don’t…I don’t want to do this anymore, I don’t want to do this anymore. This is not…it’s so objectifying. There’s no point to it. Except for to… you know…give me an excuse to wear, like, a super tight outfit.”

Rosenbaum also wasted no time in stating how “Thirst” felt uncharacteristically sexualized, referencing an opening scene in which a pizza delivery worker shares a suggestive scene in a jacuzzi with the vampires. At the end of Talk Ville, the hosts took to their unique rating system to award “Thirst” an overall score of 1.1 bombs, which is essentially a score of around 30%. Despite not hitting rock bottom (likely thanks to the Lex and Brainiac subplot), this makes “Thirst” Talk Ville‘s worst-rated Smallville episode.

What Went Wrong With Smallville’s “Thirst”?

Vampire sorority girls laugh at Lana in SmallvilleImage via Warner Bros.

Talk Ville‘s hosts mention that “Thirst” was affected bybudgetary constraints. This could have played some part in why fans tend to criticize the episode, and may also explain why vampires, which are relatively easy to convey with a smattering of practical effects, were central to the plot. Still, it isn’t as if larger set pieces and more frequent CGI scenes were the cure-all “Thirst” needed.

“Thirst” easily ranks among the goofier episodes of Smallville, which can feel jarring to many fans, especially at such a pivotal time for the wider Smallville narrative. Introducing vampires with little to no explanation as to how they arrived felt like a bolt out of the blue, especially considering they were then swiftly dismissed without fanfare. The episode also toyed with a novel format by having Chloe narrate the events, merging the tones of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with Sex and the City and making “Thirst” (perhaps fittingly) feel like a Frankenstein’s Monster of an episode.

These criticisms were not lost on the episode’s writers, either. In a respectable display of ownership, Smallville showrunners Alfred Gough and Miles Millar and “Thirst” writer Steven S. DeKnight addressed the substandard quality of the episode on the Smallville DVD commentary, calling it the “What the hell were we thinking?” episode at the time. While also suggesting that budgetary constraints played a part, they admitted that the episode was the result of irrational thinking. Gough added that Chloe’s narration was a remedial decision, suggesting that “Thirst” would have been worse without it.

Ultimately, it isn’t as if “Thirst” is without high points or a significant number of fans. Kreuk called it a filler episode designed to have some fun, and the lighthearted tone still struck a chord with some audiences and thankfully didn’t bring the whole show to its knees. While it certainly is difficult to fathom how such an episode could have emerged in what is otherwise a widely acclaimed and beloved superhero series, it isn’t as if any show is impervious to the occasional stinker.

Release Date

2001 – 2011

Directors

Mike Rohl, Jeannot Szwarc, Glen Winter, Terrence O’Hara, Whitney Ransick, Mairzee Almas, Paul Shapiro, Rick Rosenthal, David Carson, James L. Conway, Chris Long, Michael Katleman, Morgan Beggs, Allison Mack, David Barrett, Marita Grabiak, Michael W. Watkins, Philip Sgriccia, Rick Wallace, Thomas J. Wright, Todd Slavkin, Brad Turner, Charles Beeson, Craig Zisk

Writers

Steven S. DeKnight, Holly Henderson, Don Whitehead, Caroline Dries, Mark Verheiden, Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, Philip Levens, Jordan Hawley, Kenneth Biller, Michael Green, Drew Z. Greenberg, Geoff Johns, John Chisholm, Drew Landis, Julia Swift, Doris Egan, Tracy Bellomo, Garrett Lerner, Greg Walker, Russel Friend, Shintaro Shimosawa, Tim Schlattmann, todd helbing

• Allison Mack

  Chloe Sullivan