Why the death of rom-coms is making modern dating a lot harder

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, When Harry Met Sally, Notting Hill — some of the most iconic rom-coms that have well and truly shaped the way we see love.
Sure, the plots can be twisted, messy and convoluted, but no matter the chaos, they always end with love.
These films didn’t just entertain us; they taught us to believe in happy endings.
Sadly, as these iconic films fade from the big screen, replaced too often by reboots or poorly executed 21st-century versions, so too are the lessons that they taught us.
Without them, modern dating can feel trickier, a little less exciting, and far less fun.
You’ve Got Mail with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. (Credit: Alamy)
Reese Witherspoon made an appearance on the Armchair Expert podcast, where she shared her belief that there’s “something wrong” with modern dating.
“I have a theory about it. It all has to do with rom-coms and sitcoms.
“You know how there’s been, like, the past 10 years, I would even say the past 15 years, this decline in the making of rom-coms? Or, like, legitimate big movie stars being in rom-coms? It’s not just rom-com movies, but I also think of rom-com television shows. The television show that you watched when you were 11, 12, or 13, that made you imagine and visualise dating skills.”
“We started going, ‘rom-coms are cringey,’ but it was actually where we learned social dynamics. From Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.”
Say Anything, a rom-com icon. (Credit: Alamy)
In modern dating, emotional availability has become something of a rare find, usually buried under layers of “I’m not looking for anything serious” and half-hearted text replies.
With so much of our romantic lives now happening through screens, it’s easy to build walls instead of connections.
We’ve become experts at curating our feelings and keeping things casual, but in the process, genuine emotional openness has started to feel risky, even outdated.
The kind of vulnerability we once saw play out on-screen, where people confessed their feelings, fought for love, and showed up (at your house with a boombox), is now a little harder to come by.
10 Things I Hate About You. (Credit: Alamy)
Maybe that’s why we miss rom-coms so much; they reminded us that being open, even when it’s scary, is what makes love worth it.
In those films, ghosting didn’t exist — instead, there were grand gestures, dramatic declarations, and, in some cases, full-blown serenades to prove just how much someone cared.
Reese’s words highlight just how much these movies and shows have influenced our expectations of love and romance, and how, without them, everything is becoming a whole lot more complicated.
Maybe this is the perfect reminder to revisit some of those iconic films, soak in what makes them so special, and carry a little of that into your own dating life.
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Annabel Lane
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