I am so happy for Davina McCall and her new husband who are said to have just got married “secretly” in front of close friends and family. And I get why she and her long-term partner Michael Douglas have finally done it after years together: because life is short and Davina knows that more than most.
In November the TV presenter revealed she’d found a lump in her breast. Last year she underwent surgery to remove a tumour from her brain. In the last 12 months she has had to confront the possibility of her life being taken away from her on two separate occasions.
That is profound: it completely concentrates your mind – what do you really want to do with the rest of your time on this planet? Who do you really want alongside you?
I know because it happened to me. In the early hours of one Monday morning in July 2015 before going into work at the BBC, I googled “inverted nipple” because I’d noticed the night before I suddenly had one.
When my search threw up the possibility of breast cancer, my first reaction was shock and then seconds later it was “oh my god Mark [my partner of 13 years at that point] and I should marry, quickly, in case I die, and have a bloody great big party for our kids and family and friends”.
Our two boys had always wanted us to tie the knot but we just hadn’t got round to it. After my cancer diagnosis, it became something wonderful for me to aim for as I went through a brutal treatment regime: a mastectomy, six rounds of aggressive chemotherapy and 30 cycles of radiotherapy.
Two years after I finished treatment and three years after I was diagnosed, we did it. My boys walked me down the aisle holding my hands as a 15-strong gospel choir sang, “All You Need is Love”. When Mark and I exchanged vows I had to pause after saying, “in sickness” because tears filled my eyes. But I slowed down, took a deep breath and ensured I declared “and in health” with vigour.
Mark and I literally danced back down the aisle once we were wed as the choir harmonised “Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher”. It was the most incredible day of my entire life – I was joyful, grateful, on a high – but mostly I was ALIVE.
I felt so lucky just to be given the opportunity to marry the man I loved in front of the close friends and family I loved most in the world. That’s why I wanted to do it.
Joe, Oliver and Mark’s daughter Lizzi all took part in Mark’s groom speech, delivered to everyone seated under a Capri tent in brilliant sunshine. Joe observed “the last few years have been a bit tough. But our family’s pulled through”.
Mark was right when he declared that having gone through all that we had, it was tempting to see our wedding day as the end of something. But actually it really was the beginning of the rest of our lives.
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Having life-saving surgery has changed my entire outlook on life. No doubt it will have changed Davina’s too. I have perspective in a way I don’t think I had before a cancer diagnosis: there aren’t many things that truly matter – who cares if there’s no Wi-Fi? Who cares if you’re stuck in a traffic jam and you’re a bit late? I really try not to sweat the small stuff.
Which is why I’m going to urge you to squeeze the life out of every second. We’ve got to. All of us. Because none of us knows how much time we have left.
Victoria Derbyshire is a journalist and broadcaster
