How many more knifings will it take? Forget ULEZ & Net Zero, it’s time selfish Sadiq Khan actually tackled knife crime
JUMP on a train, get stabbed. Walk your dog, get stabbed. Take a dance class, get stabbed. Visit the capital, get stabbed.
Welcome, people, to the UK.
So what is London Mayor Sadiq Khan, a man whose pint-size stature appears in inverse proportion to his ego, doing to keep his city safe?Credit: Getty
There’s not a tourism office in the land capable of turning this endlessly tragic s**t show around — and certainly our politicians aren’t doing much about it.
Week in, week out, another innocent life is needlessly lost.
Saturday night’s train attack in Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire, was truly terrifying.
Yet police were quick to rule out terrorism.
But let’s be clear: If you storm a train and carry out mass stabbings on innocents, you are bringing terror. Whatever the circumstances — ones, admittedly, we are yet to fully realise.
So what is London Mayor Sadiq Khan, a man whose pint-size stature appears in inverse proportion to his ego, doing to keep his city safe?
Presumably, he was knee-deep in proposals, frantically liaising with the greatest minds in the country — or, failing that, our politicians — trying to find a way to make our streets safer.
And using social media to interact with Londoners, reassuring them he’s a man with a plan?
Well, no. At the time of writing (3.56pm), Sadiq had posted 11 tweets about climate change.
All apparently from Rio de Janeiro, where the current temp is 27C.
Yep, our esteemed Mayor, a man who recently stood accused of denying that London has rape gangs, has jetted off on a nice jolly to Brazil for the annual C40 World Mayors Summit.
While we do not know if Mr Khan flew the 6,000 miles in cattle class, I have my suspicions.
Speaking on the eve of the summit, Sadiq said the Treasury should be more supportive of Energy Secretary, Ed Miliband, and his target of an 81 per cent reduction in greenhouse gas emissions by 2035. Perhaps you could swim to Brazil then next time, Sadiq.
As the UK stands on the brink of civil war, Sadiq said: “There are people who voted for me in the last mayoral election who may not agree with Ulez, but they respect the fact that I have got good intentions.
“I also explained to them why we’re doing the Ultra Low Emissions Zone, the fact that in London we’ve got thousands of premature deaths.”
Because Ulez is exactly what Britain needs today.
No 20mph speed limit or Ulez camera would have prevented Saturday night’s tragedy. Or the thousands that have preceded it over the past couple of years.
Last week, Ricky Gervais claimed the proposed Tube station advert for his new vodka brand had been rejectedCredit: Supplied
Possession of weapons and rape and drug trafficking cases are on the rise.
People in the capital — and other major UK cities — are now terrified of being mugged or attacked when they set foot outside their home.
Last Tuesday, TV presenter Kirsty Gallacher was “kicked like a football” while walking to her car after work.
Heartbreakingly, she took to social media to explain: “I was not being provocative in any way.”
Kirsty could have gone out with her boobs on full display, a mini-skirt and seven-inch heels and that STILL wouldn’t have justified an attack.
Yet women always feel the need to apologise for existing.
Last week, Ricky Gervais claimed the proposed Tube station advert for his new vodka brand had been rejected. It read: “Welcome to London: Don’t forget your stab vest.”
Where the US struggles with guns, Britain now has its own Achilles’ heel.
Except, while Americans are free to defend themselves with guns, Brits aren’t so much as allowed to carry pepper spray in their handbags.
How many more warnings will it take before our politicians start addressing our very-real fears?
TRAIN and Tube drivers quite often get a bad rap.
Overpaid and under-performing, they should be replaced by automatons, is the general consensus.
How affirming, then, that the two true heroes of Saturday night’s horror were dedicated and unbelievably brave LNER staff. Both human.
AGEING SHOCK NO ACT
NOW this has nearly sent me over the edge.
Age-wise, I sit between old man Steptoe and his son Harold. And I am only a year younger than Pam St Clement when she made her EastEnders debut as Pat Butcher.
Wilfrid Brambell and Harry H. Corbett, who played rag-and-bone businessmen Albert and Harold, were aged 50 and 37, respectively, when the first series aired in 1962.
Pam, meanwhile, was a pup of 44 in 1986.
Oh God.
Barry’s looking Brad new
What do you get if you cross Barry Manilow with Jeremy Kyle? Bradley Cooper
THUG A HOODIE
SHADOW Home Secretary Chris Philp has called for a “dramatic increase” in stop and search by police to “take far more knives off the street”.
He is also demanding the use of live facial recognition cameras in town centres and train stations to help cops catch these barbarians.
Which is all well and good.
The problem is, it is not you and I marauding in our athleisurewear they need worry about – it is mask-wearing, hoodie-covered delinquents.
As we have seen from the raft of mobile phone thefts, these men are running rampage with only their eyes on display.
And no CCTV in the world is that good yet.
AAAH! POUR THING
Brooklyn Beckham was mocked online for his beef Wellington recipeCredit: Instagram/brooklynpeltzbeckham
AS his dad prepares to collect his knighthood tomorrow, Brooklyn Beckham cannot catch a break.
The lad, who currently wants to be a chef, posted a video in which he cooked a beef Wellington from scratch.
He finished his dish with a drizzle of Bisto instant gravy.
Obviously he was mocked universally on social media both for his choice of granule, and recent family fallout.
Poor lad is just trying to make a beef Wellington.
SHAME ON VET APATHY
HOW much longer are unregulated vets going to get away with daylight robbery?
On Thursday night my friend’s beloved miniature dachshund, Oggy, had a seizure.
Terrified – and shoeless – she drove him to the nearest vet.
As Oggy fitted in her arms, she ran in screaming, “My dog is dying, someone please save him!”
The receptionist refused to take Oggy, only asking if he was registered.
When my friend explained he wasn’t, Computer-Says-No asked how my friend would pay for treatment.
As Oggy’s breathing started to halt, my heart-broken pal threw down her wallet and told her to take what she wanted.
It was only when a man in the waiting room intervened and begged for compassion, that Oggy was finally treated.
It makes me so mad.
Thankfully, after being put in an induced coma for 24 hours, Oggy is now recovering at home.
Get well soon, Oggy.
FEELING stressed? Try this*.
Open your mouth as wide as you can and say the letter “R”, gob still wide open. Do this four times. Bet you a quid**, you yawn.
And yawning, apparently, activates your parasympathetic system to help calm you down.
You’re welcome.
*Unless you’re out and about in public, in which case, wait until you’re home. Alone.
**Terms and conditions apply.
