The following article contains discussion of themes including domestic abuse and coercive control.
Emmerdale star Jaye Griffiths broke down in tears as she shared her harrowing abuse story.
The 62-year-old actress, who plays Celia Daniels on the ITV soap, appeared on Loose Women on Thursday (November 13) as part of the show’s Facing It Together campaign.
The initiative has been guided by two domestic abuse charities, Women’s Aid and SafeLives, in the hope of highlighting the help available to those living with domestic abuse.
During her appearance on the show, Jaye reflected on rebuilding her life after experiencing physical and emotional abuse in a past relationship.
“I look back and feel sorry for her, and sad that it took me so long to extricate myself and find myself again. How did I even survive it? How did I go to the shops? Because I was still working,” she said, reports the Daily Star.
“It’s humiliating. You don’t know who you are, the shame is immense. I want to say to anyone who’s in that position now, it is not your fault.”
Opening up about the coercive control she faced, Jaye broke down in tears as she shared: “You didn’t know what would set it off. You didn’t know what not to do. If you made the tea the wrong way, that could have consequences. So, you were very careful about how you asked what kind of tea, because that could have consequences.
“If you put the milk in the wrong place in the fridge, that could have consequences. And then you get your own fridge, and it doesn’t matter where you put the milk.”
Sharing the minute details of rebuilding her life again, Jaye tearfully revealed that she had to “start small”, asking herself the simple question of whether she liked tea or coffee.
“And what do I want right now? Because what I choose right now, there will be no consequences. If I choose a cup of tea, the world won’t collapse. If I choose a cup of coffee, I can change my mind, there will be no consequences,” she explained.
“Those small decisions that you can finally make for yourself because you have no idea who you are. All you’ve done is try to keep the peace. You have existed to maintain, and suddenly, you’re back and you’re alone and you can do things… You can have little victories.”
The star then revealed that it took her a very long time to trust herself again, with her new boundaries being “made of concrete”.
“Those words are so powerful when you get to say them to yourself, ‘I will never be in that position again. I will never feel that small and inconsequential.’ To be told how useless you were,” she cried.
Jaye said it’s been “terrifying” to see how many strong women have faced a similar situation. She also shared advice to anyone facing abuse right now.
“You’re not alone. In a way, it’s not personal, it’s not you. You are exactly who you should be. Try and have little wins during the day,” she said.
“Try to remember that it will change, you will get better and you will find yourself again. And to those friends that know or suspect, patience and care and to remind them, they are enough. They are valued.
“Please talk to the authorities, go to the police. Please talk to someone and tell them, people will help you. I didn’t and I wish I had.”
Sharing an update on her life now, Jaye emotionally concluded: “Now that my life is so gentle and peaceful, and I’m not scared every minute of every day. I go right back, that’s what’s so extraordinary.
“And yet, I am myself again. I am living a life that is so beautiful, and I know it’s cliché-ridden, but I love my home, my husband and the gentle, quiet life we lead. There is no drama at home.”
Emmerdale airs weeknights on ITV1 at 7.30pm and is available to stream from 7am on ITVX
If you’ve been affected by any of the issues raised in this story, organisations including Refuge, New Beginnings Peer Support and Women’s Aid can provide further support and information. The 24-hour, freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247
