Jessica Simpson Slides Into A Dress That Has Millennials Thinking It’s 2003, Tennessee Kroger Fight & Fajitas!

I hope you enjoyed the latest Screencaps newsletter

— Dennis did: 

I am a recent subscriber to the newsletter and this is my 4th or 5th. Best yet! Keep it coming and thank you  for being the voice of reason at Outkick. It has not been easy since the revelation of 45/47 🇺🇸

Kinsey: 

I worked pretty hard on that newsletter, Dennis. It’s hard to come up with different topics when I’m writing six columns per week, so I appreciate you getting something out of this week’s extra column. 

I don’t know if it was from the newsletter, but the Screencaps Instagram account saw a solid surge of new followers on Thursday after I made it clear to readers that SeanJo and I will be making a massive push across Meta properties. 

If you’re not signed up for the newsletter, let’s get moving.

Are e-Bikes out of control? I want you guys to think about this topic which we’ll dive into next week

— Scott in Rocky Point brings up a great topic that’s starting to bubble up on local Facebook pages because it’s been hitting our town Facebook this week: 

Wanted to throw this out there for the Screencaps! Crowd. Their thoughts on the E-Bike gangs of “Angels” in their communities. 

Seems like a new epidemic has hit our towns – the epidemic of “Kids on E-Bikes” or as I call them “Menaces on E-bikes.” Roaming gangs of brats doing everything against road rules and safety. Crowding the roads, wheelies in traffic, stopping traffic at intersections, you name it they’re violating it. Little Johnnie begging mommy to get one and promising to be respectful of the rules of the road and to drivers. But then being a reckless little jackhole once out there alone or, more often than not, with his little minions of mayhem. 

Just last night (dark at 5:30 pm, ugh) at an intersection and a kid going against traffic didn’t stop for cars turning in front of him, barreled thru and forced cars to stop short as to not hit him. Wearing dark clothes to boot.

Maybe some will say that “we all did this as kids” but I’m here to say, no we didn’t. I’m, definitely, no angel but didn’t go to this extreme to disrupt rules of the road when on our bikes. Even if we had these type bikes in our time, we still wouldn’t be this brazen. If your 14-yr old “angel” has one, or you’re getting them one for Christmas, you sit them down and explain to them how to be and act on the roads. Harsh consequences if found out he’s part of the trouble that is plaguing our streets. Could go as far as “don’t come crying to me if you get hit” but getting hit hurts and maybe there’ll be some crying. 

If the cops are lucky enough to catch any of these miscreants, then the bike should be impounded, and the kid shouldn’t be able to get a driver’s license until turning 18 and start with a suspended license for a year. 

Screencaps reader is fed up with streetwalkers and now feels incredible because this is a safe space to vent

— Greg in Nebraska writes: 

I have started 3 different emails about people walking in the streets but stopped because I thought I was crazy. Glad to see others hate the same thing. 

I live in a small town but the streets have sidewalks. I have about 3 blocks to drive until I get on a main street that takes me to work. I go 1 block and take a right, go 1 block take a left and go 1 block and take a right. In those 3 blocks I have had so many problems with dumb shits walking in the street. One of the scariest was when I was going to make my 1st right turn.  I looked right and there was a truck parked 20 to 40 feet from the corner, but saw nothing coming. 

Then looked left and saw nothing so I started to make my turn. I started to turn and looked back to the right and had to slam on the brakes. There was a mom pushing a baby stroller about 5 to 10 feet from the front of my SUV. They had been walking around the truck in the middle of the street when I looked that way the first time but they were totally blocked by the truck. The lady looked at me and had no idea she was a dip shit and just kept walking in the street.

A couple of years ago I was heading the 3 block to the main street and there was one of my neighbors walking his little fluff dog down the middle of the street.  I know the guy so I tapped the horn so he could move. He turned around and just kept walking. I hit the horn again and he did the same thing. I had to follow him the entire block to his corner before I could get past. I saw him a couple weeks later and asked him why he was walking down the middle of the street. He said something about his taxes pay for streets too so he was going to walk there if he wanted to.  I did see a Kamala sign in his yard when signs were up. That told me a lot. 

I don’t know what to do. I thought about laying on the horn right in front of or behind these assholes but I don’t feel like being an a hole too. 

I have other stories but they all end with dip shits being dip shits and me being pissed. 

Thanks for the topic. It feels good to vent. 

— Kevin warns to keep this in mind: 

Adding one perspective from an admittedly childless adult.

I’ve watched parents ignore their children as they dash in front of cars, run around parking lots like a playground, ride their bikes in the middle of the street and have no basic sense of safety.

When I spoke to a friend about this, whose kids are 7 and 9 and I just watched a car screech its breaks to avoid hitting them, his response was ‘if anyone hits me or my kids I will sue the shit out of them.’ I pointed out the silly notion of ‘winning’ a legal case where your child is dead or disabled for life but that didn’t seem to resonate.

Net net, expect more of this. Too many young parents assume the world revolves around them and utterly basic concepts like looking both ways before crossing the street are beneath them and their precious offspring who can do no wrong.

— Bart gets it. At least wear something so we can see you idiots! He writes: 

As we always said while being a kid playing Nerf tag football on the street and a car interrupts the game, ‘what do they think this is? a road or something?’  Now, dark clothing walkers, ill-placed speedbumps, and speed Nazis are the bane of my development.  

There are two or three rants there, so I will keep my comments to the walkers.  I have no issue with them as I would be a hypocrite as I walk my dogs in the development on the road.  But, if you are walking dusk or dawn in dark clothing, wear ear buds, and are inconsiderate by not being a foot away from the edge of the road, don’t be surprised that you could be the next hood ornament. 

Same here for the lettermen jackets.  My son got one (my youngest) but my daughter didn’t. He has worn it two, three times max.  I messed up with my daughter as the school didn’t promote it like mine did back in the day and I forgot about them. Sad story on mine as I only had a tshirt on when they measured me for mine in the late summer.  If I would have remembered that it would be winter when wearing them and the hoodie was a little thicker, I would have gotten the larger size.  But no, I couldn’t wear mine without looking like big man-small coat (Chris Farley reference there).

Finally, tailgaters? Come on man. If Ohioans would only know that they needed to get over to the right lane when a car comes up on them, there would be no tailgating in Ohio.

Here’s to Tomlin getting closer to his next non-losing season by beating the Bungles only to crap a turd in the playoffs.  Its the Steelers way!

Keep excelling, Joe, keep excelling!

Screencaps readers LOVE talking about Van Halen

— Kyle C. in Huntington Beach checks in: 

As an ‘elder Millennial,’ I didn’t experience the DLR or “Van Hagar” years in the same way as other ‘Caps community members, so I’ll defer to their opinions on how those versions of the band were received at the time.

HOWEVER, I was lucky enough to see Sammy perform (with Michael Anthony!) this past July, and he’s definitely still got it. He sounded great, engaged a lot with the crowd — he even handed out shots of his signature tequila to people in the front row and took some hits off the bottle between songs.

Considering he was just 3 months shy of his 78th birthday, it was quite a sight. 

— Michael in Allons, TN wants in on this battle for the ages: 

I remember the Van Halen pop up show Todd W talked about in Dallas. I dropped off a buddy after lunch who worked downtown, heard about this on the radio, parked, found a spot on the edge of a curb. It was awesome! 

IF I recall correctly (34 years ago) it was a make up show. Saw them at the Cotton Bowl earlier as part of the Monsters of Rock Tour? and Hagar had vocal issues and had to quit early but promised to make it up.

— Travel Ball Hardo Chris B. in Houston loves how this fight has developed: 

Jim T from the top rope!  Don’t F with VH!

How do I know Disney isn’t ready to fight as ‘long as [Google] wants to fight’? 

Because Disney executives are saying that out loud. I haven’t heard a single Google executive release an aggressive stance on the negotiations. Am I still mad at Google for making me wait on their email to claim my $20 rebate after Disney yanked its content? Yes. 

But, am I ready to hold the line this weekend and figure out a workaround for one day so I can watch SEC football? Absolutely. 

F Hulu.

F Fubo. 

I stand by YouTubeTV’s interface and its algorithm that always knows what I want to watch. Hold the line!

Thursday Night Mowing League stickers in the wild

— Andy writes: 

Haven’t written in a while but never miss a column. My take on guys who diss on Paige or the T’s—some people just think everyone else cares what they think. It’s probably all of the dumb surveys you get these days. Your content has been great, especially your son’s cross country, three stooges and the debate over Van Halen. 

Imagine not liking Fleetwood Mac. 

On the topic of good things happening I recently retired to Bluffton SC—and while that is great—I recently had my first comment on my TNML sticker! Thanks for all you do. 

Kinsey: 

What a beautiful shot, Andy. The league colors just shining. What a perfect scene. The only problem: Now I want to golf — bad. 

The last time out, I set a new personal record with an 81 at Ottawa Park, the oldest public golf course west of Manhattan. That’s full integrity, no gimmes, no breakfast balls, no “just kick it out and don’t take a stroke” nonsense, put everything out golf. 

Can I break 80 in 2026? I never even thought such a thing would be possible. 

It’s estimated that just 2-5% of amateur golfers will ever break 80 with FULL INTEGRITY golf. I want in that club badly. 

Doodles Who Hog Your Couch Or Chair

— Bill C. has a couch hog: 

At least your doodle takes over your furniture in a more dignified manner.

I’m a huge Tarik Skubal fan, but these capri pants are the worst trend dudes with dongs ever jumped on

Louisiana chili or Colon Blow — or both

— Suzanne from the TNML writes: 

A neighbor brought me chili with beans (I had foot surgery). She says that’s what they do in Louisiana. So now I’m wondering if this also has raccoon and squirrel in it.

A solution for my Bengals beer sign that needs a base — take it to a 3D printing shop

— Christian has a great suggestion: 

In the world of pinball machines, many people are into 3D printing, either to mod their machines or to create a replacement part for a machine where parts are hard to find, or simply don’t exist anymore – necessity and invention.  Think of an Egyptian-themed gate with hieroglyphics, painted and connected to the ramp entrance in Iron Maiden pinball (ask Reigle).

So when you mentioned a base for your Bengals beer sign, I thought of this place in the Arrowhead Towne Center mall in Glendale, AZ called Desert Print Forge, a 3D printing shop.  For example, they have a “pillow” that your Playstation 5 controller sits on, a skeleton hand that holds your phone when it’s charging, and lots of dragon stuff.  

https://desertprintforge.com/

https://www.facebook.com/desertPrintForge/

I’d guess that Screencaps could point you to a similar Ohio-area shop that could make a mold, maybe with a weighted base that could hold the beer sign – the base could have two tigers facing each other, it could be a mini copy of the Bengals Stadium (there’s no way it’s still Paul Brown Stadium, is it) – lots of ideas in my poor brain.

Picture is a screenshot from Desert Print Forge FB page, from a video of them printing out a dragon – IDK if you can include that or not.  Bambu Lab is a big 3D printing company – I’m sure there are others.

Save some chocolate buckeyes for Dad, boys!

— Larry fired off an email after seeing my new beer sign: 

A little info on that sign. When the Bengals first started, Hudepohl beer was served . Hudepohl was a Cincinnati local beer. The roving stands beer vendors shouted “Git you’re Hude(Who Dey) here”. The phrase” Who dey think dey is” was tacked on to give the Bengals a sense of boldness. 

Sorry to see that Hudepohl was rubbed out to make room for Miller. I was born near Cincy,and spent most of my life there. I am 72. Hope this adds to your collection!

Cloudy season is firmly in control in the Pacific Northwest but Great American® Vern would have it no other way

You see clouds. Vern sees water where salmon roam. 

— Vern writes: 

 No fish pics- it would be a carbon copy of yesterday! The “office” however was outstanding!
 

Our North Dakota readers are either already stocked up or are quickly preparing for winter

— Mark is officially stocked up: 

It’s been in the 50’s and 60’s here in North Dakota but we know that won’t last much longer so might as well get ready for it.

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That is an absolutely loaded Friday Screencaps. You guys crushed it with emails this week. There are weeks where it feels like I’m just trying to get to the finish line. Not this morning. I have like 50 more emails for Saturday Screencaps. I could’ve kept going, but it’s almost 9 a.m. and you guys expect the column at the same exact time every single day. 

Thank you for your support. Trust me, it’s noticed by me, by my bosses, by the editors, by the team. America’s Best Daily Column, as named by the readers, just keeps humming along. 

Have a great weekend. 

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