‘I had a question mark over my sexuality for a long time’ – Louise McSharry comes out as gay

Ms McSharry, who is also a beauty writer and opinion columnist for the Irish Independent, said she had a “question mark over her sexuality for a long time”.

The roles were reversed on her Catch Up with Louise McSharry podcast today, as Ms McSharry was a guest instead of the host, interviewed by guest host and friend, Irish Times journalist Una Mullally.

Ms McSharry described this episode as a “big one”, as she had some news to share.

“Today’s episode is an unusual one because the subject of the interview is me. I have some stuff I need to share with you guys that has been going on with me over the last few years,” she said at the start of the episode.

“I feel like it’s time to tell you what’s been going on with me. I hope it adds a new level of openness to the podcast.

Louise McSharry pictured at the the RTÉ campus in 2020. Photo: Frank McGrath

Today’s News in 90 Seconds – Friday, November 28

“I’m feeling a little bit nervous about it because it’s very personal. And it is important for me to do this, but also scary.”

The podcaster and former RTÉ 2FM presenter said she has now been separated from her husband Gordon Spierin since 2015, with whom she has two sons.

“It starts long before three years, but three years ago, I had a conversation with Gordon, it was a topic that we’ve talked about before,” she said.

“I came home from a therapy session. I had been going to therapy for six months at that point to try and figure out what was going on with me.

“I had a question mark around my sexuality for a long time. That is something that me and Gordon had discussed. And I had landed on the fact that I am a gay woman.

“And so, I came home from therapy. What happened was I had been crying so much, I had this intense session where I knew that it was time, and I needed to tell Gordon because once I knew for sure, I knew I needed to tell him straight away.

“I walked into the house. Gordon was working from home. I had sat in the car for ages to try and look normal again, but he looked at me, and he went: ‘Did you get filler?’ And I was like: ‘No’. And he went: ‘Oh no, crying’.

“He asked: ‘Are you okay?’ And I started crying again. And then I said: ‘I think I’m gay’. And he said: ‘I’m not surprised’.

“So that obviously set off a massive domino effect in our lives, trying to figure out what that meant for our relationship and what it meant for our family, our immediate family, us and the boys, and what our future was going to look like.

“All these questions, I didn’t have answers, really, to any of them at that time, and we’ve been figuring all that out over the last three years.”

Ms McSharry confirmed she recently bought a new house nearby their current home. Speaking about her marriage, she said it’s “been hard”.

“There were loads of reasons it was going to take a while for us to logistically separate. Not least the fact that we are in a housing crisis, and it’s almost impossible to get a new home as a single person,” she said.

“The logistics were tricky, but because of the logistics being tricky, we had all this time where things were changing, but they weren’t really changing at the same time.

“We didn’t tell the kids until relatively recently, because nothing was changing in their lives. So it felt kind of weird to present this slightly abstract concept to them without any actual change.

“The first year was really, really hard, because Gordon was processing, obviously, and I was processing, and we were hurt, both of us for different reasons, and I was obviously so guilty and worried about him, and all that stuff was really, really hard the first year.

“But I think because, in a way, we had to live together for so long, we had to push through that and just find a new way of being. And that’s not to say we’re the finished product, we’re not, but we are definitely two people who prioritise our kids over anything else. What’s most important is that they have a family that can be together for all the big moments.”

The podcaster said that when she received the keys to her new house, she didn’t “feel happy”.

“I’m obviously quite emotional about it, because it feels wrong not to be doing it with Gordon. It’s very difficult, because we’re not fighting, we’re not in a bad place. We love each other so much,” she said.

“So to be willingly separating our lives is really difficult, but equally, you have to just have faith that it’s the right thing, because Gordon deserves to have a full romantic relationship, and I have to give myself the chance to explore this as well.

“I just have to keep the faith that in the long run, that’s going to be the best thing for both of us.”