For many families, Elf on the Shelf is a fun annual tradition that has slowly become a staple of their annual Christmas celebrations, although for others it can come with a lot of additional stress and can end up feeling like a burden.
If you are in the latter category, you are certainly not alone as many parents feel as though the daily hijinks and pranks can be just one thing too much amidst all the other errands families have on their plates – all while juggling the busiest period of the year.
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Pic: Ken McKay/ITV/REX/Shutterstock (10014193ak) Elf on the Shelf ‘This Morning’ TV show, London, UK – 05 Dec 2018
If you’re currently in the midst of Elf on the Shelf season or are wondering if you should start the tradition next year for your little one, but are already feeling the pressure, here’s why it’s perfectly okay to forgo the elf.
Christmas, while filled with lots of magic, can also be a time of added stress for parents and Limerick-based Behaviour Specialist Deirdre Holland Hannon is the first to acknowledge this.
Taking to social media, the children’s expert emphasised: ‘It’s ok not to do the Elf! You are not a bad parent, your child isn’t missing out. It’s ok if everyone else in the class or extended family has an elf and your house doesn’t.’
Elf on the Shelf in the kitchen. Pic: Shutterstock
Adding a sage piece of advice, Deirdre penned: ‘We are constantly telling our children It’s ok to be different, do things differently but sometimes we don’t believe it ourselves!
If the Elf and all that goes with the Elf is going to be yet another thing for you to do every day and you are already feeling overwhelmed or over burdened, weigh down with parenting and the mental load, It’s ok to NOT add the Elf to the Christmas traditions, its ok to stop doing the Elf if it was a tradition.’
Elf on the Shelf. Pic: Shutterstock
For parents who decide to undertsandably opt-out, Deirdre also shared how to handle any awkward questions asked by kids.
For children who wonder why the elf came last year but isn’t coming this year, she suggested:
‘Type a letter from the North Pole saying something to this effect of… “It is clear how much effort you and your siblings have been putting in all year. In light of this, the Elf is going to a home with children who need supervision more than you this year.
We don’t want any child to feel like they need to be perfect or always on their best behaviour, that would be silly. No one is perfect or can be perfect. Keep doing your best, you are on the Nice list and we are confident you can stay on it.’
Elf on the Shelf. Pic: Shutterstock
A second possible question might come in the form of a child wondering why their friends have an elf but they don’t.
Deirdre’s clever solution: ‘You answer with absolute confidence – “This house does not have an Elf because we do not need one. Santa is not unsure about you nor am I. You have been on the nice list every year why would that change now. You are doing your best your best is always good enough. I have spoken to Santa we are in agreement we do not need an elf to supervise my children.’
Finishing out her advice on an important note, Deirdre concluded: ‘The Elf tradition can be great fun and add some magic for sure but that is not the case for every parent or family. It’s also not the case for every child where it can become punishing. Every child and family is different and so are their Christmas traditions, that’s ok.
Parents be kind and compassionate to yourself first this Christmas and you will have so much more to then give’.
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