Love Letters
Reiner, a legendary filmmaker, died on Sunday. His romance films suggest that love may be inherently funny.
Writer-director Rob Reiner poses for a portrait, May 2, 2016, in New York. Brian Ach/Invision/AP, File
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Director, writer, actor Rob Reiner died on Sunday.
All I kept thinking, as I tried to fall asleep after a horrible news weekend, was that Reiner, as a director and actor, taught me how to see love as comedy.
The lesson wasn’t just that comedy stories can be romantic, but that love itself is inherently funny — because it involves so much vulnerability, and people making fools of themselves.
He didn’t always write the films he directed and performed in, but his lens was one I adored. As a storyteller, he made films that helped me relax about the silliness of being human at any age.
A lot of people think about his film “When Harry Met Sally,” which defined the friends-to-lovers trope for generations. But the Reiner films I go to for comfort — the ones about relationships — are:
(Columbia Pictures)
“The American President” (1995), a film that seems so quaint in 2025. It falls in the genre of movies that ask, “What if a famous person loved you?” In this case, what would happen if a thoughtful president wanted to date you? How would that even happen?
My mom and I used to watch this film and think about gender and courtship – but mostly about how a person can be busy with work and fall madly in love at the same time. Aaron Sorkin wrote this movie, but I truly believe it is Reiner’s take that makes it a love story you can root for.
“The Princess Bride” (1987), a movie that is paced so perfectly that it’s riveting from start to finish. Anytime someone says, “But this movie had to be two and a half hours,” I say, “Consider that ‘The Princess Bride’ is 98 minutes!” The whole movie is a riot — an adventure comedy — but when Buttercup and her brave Westley stare into each other’s eyes, you also believe it as a deep love story about two people who see into each other’s souls.
“Sleepless in Seattle” (1993), directed by Nora Ephron, features Reiner as Hanks’s friend in Seattle, offering lessons in modern dating. Women want “pecs and a cute butt,” he says.
In 1993, I was 16. I remember watching that film in a theater in Columbia, Maryland and thinking, “I love this character, this grown man who is just trying to give helpful advice despite not knowing anything.” At the time, I had no idea that Reiner, the actor I was seeing onscreen, had also directed “Stand By Me” (1986), a film that taught me about friendship.
Feel free to create your own film festival. Add in Reiner’s “Rumor Has It” (2005), a wild movie about a woman, played by Jennifer Aniston, who figures out that her grandmother may have inspired “The Graduate.”
Three thousand miles
Shifting gears quite a bit: In today’s episode of the Love Letters podcast, you’ll hear the story of Christina Toledo and Nexan Asencio Corado, who are married with twin boys.
This episode is about immigration, ICE raids, and one family’s experience in 2025.
It’s a love story that spans a decade — and more than anything, it’s a revealing look at how immigration policy and deportation affects spouses and families, and how couples answer big questions about how to protect their families and each other.
The episode features my colleague Giulia McDonnell Nieto del Rio, a fair and accurate storyteller who’s spent five years covering immigration. I’m so grateful she joined us to explain the love stories — and the family questions — beyond the headlines.
In our next newsletter, I’ll include pictures of Christina and Nexan, and more information about the story.
But I wanted everyone to listen first.
And the answer is …
In last week’s newsletter, which was about Christmas trees, I posted an ornament and asked if anyone could guess who it was. Two people got it right. One was a friend who texted me the right answer. The other was someone who responded to the newsletter.
For the rest of you: this ornament is former Georgia State Representative Stacey Abrams, who also writes novels — including romance novels.
To the person who emailed me “Ruth Bader Ginsburg,” well, you tried it.
This ornament does not do Abrams justice, in my opinion. But no offense to the designers of this one; I’m sure ornament making is hard.
To the person who guessed right: You know who you are. Good for you.
Meanwhile, I’ll leave you with a photo from my Night 1.
— Meredith
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