Stephen Mulhern, Ant and Dec, Holly Willoughby – why are we seeing the same faces on ITV1 over and over again?
Take a look at December’s schedules and you’d think ITV had been officially rebranded The Stephen Mulhern Network. The magician-turned-host has somehow alakazamed his way into everything from spinoff You Bet! On Tour and return of Deal or No Deal to a festive Celebrity Catchphrase and annual soap-led The Big Quiz. If that wasn’t excessive enough, there’s also a brand-new travel challenge masterminded by the channel’s other golden boys, Ant and Dec.
The Accidental Tourist, which airs this evening, is perhaps the most damning indictment of ITV’s obsession with the familiar. A lazy mish-mash of Freaky Eaters, the inane celebrity travelogue and bush tucker trial, the six-part series also relies heavily upon talent that could do with taking a far-flung trip far away from the cameras.
Ant and Dec are almost as guilty of overexposure this month, presiding over the finale of an underwhelming I’m A Celebrity… and another helping of Limitless Win. Still, you can’t blame executives for utilising a duo guaranteed to make any format, no matter how anodyne, watchable (well, apart from Red or Black). The Geordies are so universally loved that even a phone quiz scandal, pandering to disgraced politicians and a drink-driving conviction couldn’t derail their reputation as the nation’s favourite presenters.
Mulhern is sent to South Korea in the first epiosde (Photo: South Shore/Mitre Studios/ITV)
Mulhern’s ubiquity, though, is more puzzling. Sure, he’s a safe pair of hands, ready to step into any shiny – or as in Dancing on Ice’s dying years, decidedly slippery – floor show at a moment’s notice. Nevertheless, perfunctory hosting skills are hardly the stuff of TV gold, and without the safety net of an autocue, his act bears all the hallmarks of his Butlins redcoat past (perhaps sensing overkill, the holiday park recently decided against renewing his three-year ambassadorial deal).
The Accidental Tourist doesn’t exactly help his cause, either. You see, despite earning ITV megabucks, Mulhern is a proud creature of habit who rarely strays from his corner of London or ridiculously limited palate: he spends half the premiere, in which he is sent to South Korea, turning his nose up at, or dramatically retching over, any food you wouldn’t find on a Wetherspoons kids menu.
And yet Ant and Dec, puppeteering the entire trip back home, appear to find this overgrown manchild routine worthy of a Comedy Store residency. Mulhern does eventually throw himself into each arbitrary task – eating a “penis fish”, doing some painful looking acupuncture – but it’s all completely banal stuff that could have been conducted anywhere. Michael Palin certainly doesn’t have anything to worry about. This is a travel show so cliched, it concludes by blasting out “Gangnam Style”.
It’s not just Mulhern. Similarly dependable yet unexciting presenters like Ben Shepherd and Holly Willoughby have all been dominant, too. ITV’s recent run of behind-the-scenes troubles (Philip Schofield, Gino D’Acampo) provided an ideal opportunity to shake up the system. But it’s the same old faces that have been used to fill in the gaps.
Mulhern’s other series, ‘You Bet! On Tour’ has a Christmas special this year (Photo: Rollercoaster Television/Kieron McCarron/ITV)
One could argue that ITV has been hampered by how the once-established route to prime-time success has been sealed. Practically every name mentioned, along with This Morning’s Cat Deeley and Dermot O’Leary, cut their teeth on “yoof” TV. But thanks to Saturday breakfast getting monopolised by middle-class chefs and the general decline of children’s programming, the traditional training grounds are now unavailable.
Still, its rivals have mined gold from alternative, often highly unlikely, sources. Who’d have expected The Mighty Boosh‘s surrealist Noel Fielding to fit so effortlessly into the tea-towelled wholesomeness of The Great British Bake Off? Tom Daley, Siobhan McSweeney and Sophie Willan have been entrusted with stints on the knitting, pottery and sewing equivalents, while Stacey Solomon was afforded the opportunity to reinvent herself as a domestic goddess on Sort Your Life Out. And let’s not forget how The One Show‘s co-hosts often feel like they’ve been drawn out randomly from a hat.
Amid drastic cuts and a possible Sky/Comcast takeover, ITV is unlikely to rock the boat any time soon. But when things have steadied, the first task should be refreshing its deck. As Mulhern remarks after overcoming a completely random obstacle, “Taking a chance is sometimes worth the risk.”
‘The Accidental Tourist’ is on tonight at 9pm on ITV1
