Season’s Groanings! We asked Globe readers for their least favorite holiday songs. We got an earful.
Earlier this week, I delivered a Scrooge-like rant against Paul McCartney’s rubbish “Wonderful Christmastime,” naming it the worst holiday tune south of the North Pole. With its use of outdated (and annoying) technology and simple-minded lyrics, McCartney crafted a song that is as pleasant as a car alarm or a chorus of chirping smoke detectors.
And then we asked you, dear reader, for your most despised Christmas songs. You didn’t disappoint. More than 700 of you chimed in with songs described as “100 percent cringe,” “a poisonous earworm,” or “creepy.”
I was expecting to have my chestnuts roasted for naming “Wonderful Christmastime” as the worst holiday song, but I was pleasantly surprised that many readers agreed. Those who disagreed had choice words for me, but because this is a family newspaper and I’m a gentleman, I can’t repeat those words.
There were some clear winners — technically losers — in our worst Christmas song poll. “Dominick the Donkey,” a 1960 song recorded by Lou Monte, brayed its way into the least favorite list. Readers felt it relied too heavily on stereotypes or just found it outright bad.
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“Talk about combining a vocal stereotype of how Italian-Americans sing and talk, along with those ridiculous ‘hee-haw’ interjections in the lyrics,” wrote Joseph Ferreira. “It makes me long to hear Winnie the Pooh’s Eeyore sing the ’Carol of the Bells’ as a funeral dirge.”
Another target of holiday hate was José Feliciano’s “Feliz Navidad.” Readers complained that the song lacks depth and substance, noting that it’s mostly a chorus repeated ad nauseam.
“‘Feliz Navidad’ is a true masterclass in inane repetition,” said Jeremiah O’Grady.
“Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” was also mentioned as a song that “should be burned in a bonfire, and its ashes buried deep in the ground.” “Baby It’s Cold Outside” was resoundingly disliked for its creepy lyrics.
There was a tie for the dishonor of least favorite Christmas song. “Wonderful Christmastime” and “Little Drummer Boy” are the biggest lumps of Christmas coal for respondents to our survey.
“‘The Little Drummer Boy’ combines a hangover, the Inquisition, and atrial fibrillation,” wrote Dave Abrahamson.
I thought I had thoroughly kicked Sir Paul’s Christmas song to the curb, but it wasn’t enough. Readers still had more choice words for the song.
“McCartney’s ‘Wonderful Christmastime’ has always made me cringe with its inanity and the horrifically brain-melting keyboard synth drivel,” wrote Thomas Paige of Sunderland.
“‘Wonderful Christmastime’ is even worse than the dog barking version of ‘Jingle Bells’,” added another reader.
There were also some surprises. Many claimed Wham’s “Last Christmas” to be their least favorite Christmas song. Several readers also said they’re sick of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” “Santa Baby” was also frequently cited as a song that should be banned from the airwaves. Much of that dislike was targeted at Madonna’s version of “Santa Baby” as opposed to Eartha Kitt’s original.
Because it’s the holidays and we want to spread some goodwill, we also asked readers for their favorite Christmas songs and albums. Unlike the least favorite responses, the beloved Christmas entries were wide-ranging, but still a few trends emerged.
Margaret O’Brien and Judy Garland in “Meet Me in St. Louis.”FilmPublicityArchive/United Archives via Getty Images
Many readers cited Judy Garland’s “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” as a favorite. An important side note: Everyone who named “Have Yourself” specified that it was the Garland version, which was recorded for the “Meet Me in St. Louis” soundtrack, as their favorite.
Charlie Brown and Linus appear in a scene from “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”1965 United Feature Syndicate Inc. via AP
“A Charlie Brown Christmas” from Vince Guaraldi was frequently mentioned as a favorite. The Pogues-Kirsty MacColl duet “Fairytale of New York” was also loved by survey respondents. The song is the most played Christmas song of the 21st century in the UK.
The Waitresses’ 1981 “Christmas Wrapping” was another favorite, as was the Pretenders’ “2000 Miles.” Readers expressed a lot of love for Ella Fitzgerald’s 1960 album “Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas,” and Phil Spector’s 1963 compilation “A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector.”
Of those who emailed me directly, the favorite was the Kinks’ 1977 “Father Christmas,” a song sung from the perspective of a shopping mall Santa. Greg Lake’s “I Believe in Father Christmas” also has a devoted fanbase.
There is still plenty of love for all the classics that have been around for decades, along with traditional religious Christmas songs. It seems there are still many sentimentalists out there.
Because I was so savage to McCartney, I also wanted to share some of my favorites, not that any of you took the time to ask. Bah humbug to you all! My favorite Christmas song is likely one you’ve never heard, but please do yourself a favor and have a listen to “I Don’t Intend to Spend Christmas Without You.” It was written in 1967 by Margo Guryan for French actress and singer Claudine Longet. However, the best version of it was later recorded by the British trio Saint Etienne.
Like many of you, I’m a big fan of “A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector.” Until her death in 2022, I made an annual pilgrimage to see Ronnie Spector perform many selections from the album at Mohegan Sun. Now, I make a point to see Darlene Love, another “Gift” performer, come through the area with her Christmas show.
Christmas music is deeply personal, and there are no right or wrong answers as to how you feel about it. Unless, of course, your favorite Christmas song is “Wonderful Christmastime.” In that case, your taste is questionable.
Christopher Muther can be reached at christopher.muther@globe.com. Follow him @Chris_Muther and Instagram @chris_muther.
