Emily in Paris
Intimissimi Issues
Season 5
Episode 3
Editor’s Rating
Looks like this show has finally decided to let our heroine have, talk about, and be interested in sex.
Photo: Netflix
Well, well, well: Looks like this show has finally taken my note and decided to let our heroine have, talk about, and be interested in sex. Congratulations to everyone involved!
Marcello walks downstairs at Emily’s place fully nude, which would be all well and good and hot, except Mindy is crashing on the couch. Time for her to go to the lovely hotel, the Orient Express La Minerva (a real hotel, in case you liked the look of it) where Ballando Ballando Ballando is putting her up anyway. Luc, as he does, has a more budget-friendly and complicated arrangement: He is staying at a convent. (This is also a thing you can do!) Sometimes the Luc plots feel a little juvenile to me, but I enjoyed this.
Giancarlo explains his vision for the “short film” (do NOT call it a commercial, it’s CINEMA) to the Muratoris. Emily’s outfit is great here! Low-cut for the office but whatever. The film is an homage to Cinema Paradiso, which incidentally was one of the late Umberto Muratori’s favorite films. (If the idea of being transported to a more sumptuous and aesthetically pleasing past speaks to you, you should preorder my novel Retro!!) This inspires them to name the fragrance Muratori Paradiso. Marcello, whose ideas have been universally bad — Is Emily dating a future failson? I feel like his mom hasn’t handed him the reins because he might not know what he’s doing! — says the film should be more “cosmopolitan,” as if everyone hasn’t already agreed and understood that the appeal of the “brand” is this super-specific family and village. Sylvie advises Emily to remember their actual client is Antonia, not Marcello.
After the Fendi debacle, Agence Grateau needs a new luxury client to justify its gorgeous office and cement its reputation. Princess Jane provides: She’s nabbed them a meeting with Intimissimi. Not to knock the purveyors of those great sheer boatneck tops that go viral every so often, but I’d hardly categorize them as “luxury” on the same tier as Fendi. Luc wants on the account because he’s already bursting with ideas — The Night Porter! An exploration of fascism and submission! — but Sylvie hands it to Emily, the least sexual person in the office. Emily, to her credit, points out that she is an American and thus hardly the person to, as Sylvie requests, “prove the French can sell sex better than the Italians.” I want to believe in Sylvie always, but I must point out that if the survival of the Rome office is hanging on this client, why would Sylvie delegate it? To Emily of all people!
Over at Ballando Ballando Ballando rehearsals, Mindy is being tortured by an Italian who keeps calling her a “refrigerator” and “TikTok singer” in a language she does not speak. (Again: All those years at a Swiss boarding school, she’s been living in Europe for at least five years, and she speaks no Italian?! No way.) Once more, this scene makes me ask why is Mindy out here on her own without any agent or manager to protect and represent her. Conveniently, Alfie was forced to take ballroom lessons as a kid, so he arrives for a classic “we are learning to dance together, which will unlock something in us sexually” sequence. I’m not even mad at it, although I think just stealing the big move from Dirty Dancing without even acknowledging that that’s what you’re doing is shameless and dumb. If you’re going to do the reference, that’s derivative but fine, just announce the reference! They start making out in the studio because that is basically part of the choreo of that lift sequence. Mindy pulls away and says they can’t, which of course means they’ll be doing that again soon.
That night, Emily stands in front of the mirror in lingerie coming up with corny taglines. Marcello tells her that Antonia has no faith in him (see above, re: I can see why!). He says it’s because he used to be “wild and irresponsible.” Emily feels the same way about Sylvie. Later, she will say this was a way to avoid being intimate, but since Emily’s entire personality is her job and we have never heard her talk about her family before, I felt like this was plenty intimate for her. Inspired by Marcello’s attraction to her outfit, Emily comes up with a vision: “Sexier than naked.”
Alas, Intimissimi hates it. Princess Jane, decked out in bright-green zebra stripes, doesn’t get it either. (“Is he gay?”) Emily has 24 hours to come up with something better. “I’m losing my touch,” Emily wails, in an outfit made entirely of clashing patterns. Luc thinks Emily is fessing up to having intimacy issues and runs with it. “The very curated online outfits … maybe you’ve been hurt in the past.” By the time Emily tells him he misunderstood, it is clear that he actually does understand, more than she knows!
On set of the Muratori shoot, Antonia and Sylvie have a lovely little moment about how lonely a burden it is to be on your own, making all the decisions. Sylvie suggests a different ending to the ad — one where the couple is together at the end, rather than the woman reminiscing alone — and Antonia loves it. But Giancarlo, the artist, is furious. To this I say: Buddy, you are shooting a perfume commercial. Maybe now is not the time to be precious! You’re in a service industry! Giancarlo spins out at Sylvie for “always doing what she wants.” He throws this tantrum and storms off the set like a child. Embarrassing for him! Did he not sign a contract?
Time for Ballando Ballando Ballando, where an improbable miscommunication — OBVIOUSLY the guy with a back injury would use a third party and/or the translation app on his phone to make sure Mindy knew not to leap into his arms!! — plays out exactly the way you think it will. Given that total lack of tension, I found this very boring. Plus, I would have thought we’d hit our quota on “Mindy falls on her face in front of a crowd and it’s all over” moments, but I guess not. I did like the scene with Mindy and Emily backstage, though. Their friendship is one of the only relationships in this series that feels real to me.
Alfie and Mindy are staying at the same hotel, and I’m sure you know where that is going! I really think Mindy could just talk to Emily and then date Alfie? Emily and Alfie dated for mayyyybe three months and spent most of that time living in different cities, being too busy for each other! It’s summer now, which means they’ve been broken up for a year. It’s not that deep!
Meanwhile, Bianca misses Luc’s curfew, so she can only flash him her lingerie from the street, which is quite the exciting twist for the other convent guests. The nuns take all of this in stride: “Jesus loved prostitutes, but a curfew is a curfew.” I love them! Where is THEIR show?
Marcello takes Emily on an evening stroll around Mercati di Traiano, “the world’s first shopping mall.” Much like many other shopping malls, it is currently in ruins. Emily opens up about her family; it’s sort of your classic high-achiever, “I had to succeed to matter” situation. Emily realizes that imperfections are beautiful. They kiss, but it feels a little flat to me. Am I wrong? Their morning-after chemistry — the underwear roll-down and wiggle! — is much more lived-in and believable.
Of course, Mindy gets a call from Emily while she’s still in bed with Alfie. It does look like a really nice bed, though. She was right to get off the couch.
Emily brings her new pitch to Initimissimi: “Reveal yourself.” The brand loves it. Everyone is wearing black-and-white patterns. I can’t figure out if that means we are to believe everyone is on the same page when their clothing aligns or if it’s just, like, the wardrobe department deciding “this week we’re all doing green” or what have you. All would be well in the world except for our heroine, our goddess, our ICON, Sylvie, is chugging vodka and smoking a cigarette and NOT in a fun way. She’s afraid she ruined the entire campaign because she had to finish directing the whole shoot. But remember it was her dream to be a film director! That’s why she came to Rome in the first place all those years ago! I bet the ad turned out really well and that will cause even more problems with her fragile-ego-having lover.
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