‘In the most fun of sports, the ‘one wasp’ theory is the most fun to believe’
(Image: Sky)
WARNING: This column contains wasps. But they’re relatively friendly wasps so those of a nervous disposition should be ok.
Or maybe it’s just the one wasp, a wasp singular. That’s a question pondered by darts fans as, once again, the Ally Pally Wasp is my Sports Personality of the Year.
Some people, nature experts and whatnot, claim that the wasp currently starring at the World Darts Championship is actually multiple wasps…
Sure, that makes sense. Wasps – singular or plural – have been making appearances at the Alexandra Palace for many years, and they all look alike.
But darts experts favour the theory that there’s just one wasp. One brilliant, darts loving, spotlight stealing, 180 loving wasp that returns every year.
And I choose to be a one wasp believer. Because in a sport that’s by far the most fun, that’s the most fun thing to believe.
For anyone who has up to now let the Ally Pally Wasp go over their heads, the backstory is simple. The wasp has been landing on the darts players.
Yes, that’s a serious and potentially life threatening situation. It’s also gloriously entertaining. I didn’t think darts at Christmas could get any better…
But have darts and then introduce the presence of a wasp – then I believe that humanity has found the greatest game on earth.
Getting stung isn’t fun. I’ve told this story here before – but I was stung when I was six years old and I remember it well…
Long story short, some nun friends of my family were visiting. Chocolate liqueurs were produced for the grown-ups – I sneakily took a few for myself.
Soon, with an audience of tipsy nuns, I took off my cardigan and put it on as pants, a leg in each sleeve, and ran laps of the sofa with my shoes and socks off.
During this high-octane performance, I stood on a wasp and went to ground. The grown-ups thought it was part of the act, there was applause and cheers.
It was painful. But now – as a grown-up myself though one that to this day avoids chocolate liqueurs – I know it was also highly amusing.
And today I too can laugh at how the presence of a tiny stinging creature can reduce a human to a arm-flapping-running-away-mildly-panicking clown.
The darts didn’t need to get better – but better is exactly what a wasp has made it. Better again, it’s said in the darts world that the wasp is ‘lucky’…
Thus darts players are less inclined to swat it, and more prone to being stung. Genius.
So is there anything that the presence of a wasp can’t make more entertaining? Perhaps not… Rose of Tralee organisers, take note.
This darts podcast with Ronan McDonagh is well worth your time, click here to listen.
