The handover that followed between Williams and the duetting Nicole Scherzinger on one side and the hosts Heidi Klum and Kevin Hart on the other was so awkward one could sense a sharp intake of breath in the room. One has seen considerably less wooden performances this season from any number of Premier League referees announcing live VAR decisions.
A video about Fifa’s great humanitarian efforts followed and while the VT was running, and we were on the subject of compassion, maybe someone could have done the decent thing and got Hart out of there. He was dying on stage. No more able to freestyle a joke than he could successfully mark Klum at a corner.
But then it was back to the night’s main event: Peace Prize. The off-stage compère had the kind of voice that narrates the safety videos for domestic flights on US airlines. “Throughout history, a call for peace has echoed across generations, and civilisations,” the voice said. A cut to a desert at night, then some ancient daubings – it looked like a Visit Saudi commercial.
Then Gianni was back. This popinjay clumping across the stage, trying to look serious, a mid-ranking Swiss administrator somehow living his dream and forcing the rest of us to live it too. The award citation was hard to watch. The announcer had listed six conflicts around the world that he said Trump had stopped, and all sounded a bit like early stage World Cup qualifiers. Even Trump himself would later admit that not all of them were even wars. “India and Pakistan,” he mused, “wars we ended a little bit before they started.”
Infantino said he had been there for most of the peace talks. He was in the US for the signing of the Abraham Accords, and then in Sharm El-Sheikh in October. He was in Kuala Lumpur for what he said was the “peace between Cambodia and Thailand”. He even made it to Washington in time for the recent talks over Rwanda and DR Congo. Following Trump seems to have been his chief role in the staging of this World Cup – a role that has even taken precedence over turning up on time for a Fifa Congress.
“We see images of wars all over the world,” Infantino said, “and like everyone we suffer for every child who dies, crying with every mother who loses someone she loves and we want to see hope.” By now Trump was on stage with him and the Gianni-Donald bromance vibe was strong. “This is what we want from a leader!” Infantino said. “A leader that cares about the people!”
