Celebrity Traitors star Joe Marler has revealed his struggle with depression whilst recalling a moment he felt ‘ashamed’ after ‘racially abusing’ a player.
The former England rugby star, who is currently featuring in the BBC’s celebrity version of The Traitors, enjoyed a stellar career on the field with nearly 300 appearances for his club side Harlequins.
Yet, prior to hanging up his boots in 2024, he was battling with his mental wellbeing and even became involved in heated confrontations on the pitch that subsequently impacted his home life, reports Wales Online.
Speaking on The High Performance podcast with host Jake Humphrey, Joe discussed his bleakest chapter as he revealed: “I was always described as quite bipolar.”
He added: “I had gone through quite a couple different on field incidents and there was one in particular against England v Wales, where I ended up racially abusing a Welsh player from traveller descent.”
The celebrity confessed: “I didn’t know where to turn, what I’d done and I was like I need to get out of this. I just need to withdraw completely and I pulled out of the England tour to Australia that year.
“Fast forward nine months I’m starting to get similar feelings without these incidents happening and then other incidents whether it’s punching people or verbally abusing people on the pitch.”
Focusing on his domestic situation, Joe recalled a moment his wife Daisy was left in tears on the floor as she begged him to seek professional support. The couple, who have been happily married since 2017, are proud parents to four children: Pixie, Maggie, Felix, and Jasper.
In a heart-wrenching revelation, Joe confessed: “Then it started creeping into home life. I then lost control. She’s (Daisy) seven months pregnant at the time and I’m turning the house over.”
He went on to say: “Punching the walls, punching the doors in, shouting and screaming and I just left, I left her and said ‘I’m gone’.”
Visibly emotional, the sportsman recalled: “That image of her lying on the floor crying her eyes out seven months pregnant, like that’s burnt into my memory of my most ashamed I’ve been.
“That was like a crescendo of what had been building, of how I have been feeling, trying to put it to one side and then a content thought of not wanting to be here anymore.”
He concluded: “I was at a pretty low point in my life, I had hit rock bottom and then went and got help and I started therapy and medication then I started to realise what I had around me, my beautiful wife and my kids.”
The Celebrity Traitors continues on BBC One and iPlayer tonight at 9pm
