It’s the most wonderful time of the year — “with the kids jingle belling and everyone telling you be of good cheer,” as the late Andy Williams so memorably sang on a seasonal favorite first recorded back in 1963.
It’s also that time of the year when many people take to social media to share their thoughts on Christmas songs that make them want to take a chainsaw to the radio.
Now, personally, I can’t think of any Christmas songs that make me want to do that. But this poll is not for me.
It’s for the Christmas joy this sort of exercise is likely to instill in those who wish they could go back in time and smash that synthesizer Paul McCartney used to write one of the most beloved and most hated Christmas songs of all time.
I’m a bit of a “Wonderful Christmastime” apologist. It’s No. 18 on my unapologetically subjective ranking of the greatest Christmas songs of all time. I even wrote an article in its defense under the headline, “Happy Xmas, haters: A few words in defense of Paul McCartney’s ‘Wonderful Christmastime’.”
But I’ve also included it in this poll of the worst Christmas songs of all time because I didn’t want you thinking I was running interference on behalf of a personal favorite — or carrying Paul McCartney’s water, as they say.
I assembled this list by combining the results of eight “worst Christmas songs of all time” lists, assigning 100 points to the songs at the top of each list, 99 points to songs that finished second and so on. By that methodology, “Wonderful Christmastime” turned out to be the fifth-most-hated Christmas song of all time — this despite my loving it with every fiber of my being.
I kinda like that Jackson 5 song, too.
But enough about me. This is a Christmas gift for you from The Arizona Republic: our official poll of the worst Christmas songs of all time.
Tell us which is your least favorite in the poll below. The poll will close at midnight on Thursday, Dec. 11, and the winner — or loser, depending on how you think about it — will be announced Monday, Dec. 15.
12 worst Christmas songs of all time
- NewSong “The Christmas Shoes”
- Band Aid “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”
- Elmo & Patsy “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”
- Lady Gaga “Christmas Tree”
- Paul McCartney “Wonderful Christmastime”
- New Kids on the Block “Funky, Funky, Xmas”
- Lou Monte “Dominick the Donkey”
- The Killers “Don’t Shoot Me Santa”
- The Jackson 5 “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”
- Gayla Peevey “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas”
- Justin Bieber “Mistletoe”
- Bon Jovi “Back Door Santa”
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Ed has covered pop music for The Republic since 2007, reviewing festivals and concerts, interviewing legends, covering the local scene and more. He did the same in Pittsburgh for more than a decade. Follow him on X and Instagram @edmasley and on Facebook as Ed Masley. Email him at ed.masley@arizonarepublic.com.
